Uthi ulwa namadimoni akhe umlingisi

Umlingisi uNyaniso Dzedze ubelokhu ekhuluma ngezinselelo zakhe futhi usanda kuvula isifuba ngokulwa nezinkinga zangaphambili nempilo yakhe yengqondo. Udlale izindima eziphambili ku-Unmarried, i-Feminine Lotus, i-Ashes to Ashes, ne-Hear Me Move ukusho ezimbalwa. UDzedze esikhathini esedlule, wakhuluma ngemininingwane ejulile mayelana “nokuncika ocansini” kanye “nomlutha” kusukela eneminyaka engu-16 waze waba neminyaka engu-30. Lokhu kwenzeke ngemuva kwengxoxo nomkakhe ethi babejwayele ukujwayelana cishe kathathu ngosuku.

“Manje kuyancipha njalo ngenyanga. Sesizogcina sithandana kanye njalo ezinyangeni ezimbili. Ngiyenqaba ukuba nalobo budlelwano.’ kusho lensizwa. Uthe ukhululekile ukuziveza emphakathini ovala imilomo .”Abesilisa bazivumela ukuba bakhale futhi bakhiphe imizwa abebengeke bayikhiphe kunoma iyiphi enye indawo noma isikhathi ngesikhathi bethandana,” usho kanje. “Ngakho-ke lokho abantu besilisa abaye bakwenza ngokwemvelo ukubeka wonke amathuba okuveza injabulo, ukudabuka, ukudangala, ukucindezeleka, usizi, usuku olunzima ngenxa yokusondelana. Ingabe kuyamangaza ngempela ukuthi kungani senza yonke into yocansi ngaso sonke isikhathi? Ingabe kuyamangaza ukuthi kungani sifuna Ukuthandana ngaso sonke isikhathi? Cha. Amadoda awathandi nje ukuthi sincike kukho. Sesikudinga, cishe okuyingxenye yokudla.”

Ezinyangeni ezimbalwa kamuva, uphinde wavulela iZimoja isifuba ngokungazethembi nokungabaza kwakhe njengomlingisi. “Ngiyazibuza ukuthi kungani kumele ngikhokhelwe ngokwenza lokhu engikwenzayo. Kungani kufanele abantu benze leminikelo enginayo?” uthe. “Ngizilwela ngokwanele kakade, ngiyazibekela inselelo, ngifaka ubuso bami obishini, futhi ngiziphakamisa emlotheni nsuku zonke.” Uveze ukuthi i-imposter syndrome ingaba yinkinga kanjani futhi uvame ukuzibuza le mibuzo.

Uvule isifuba ngokubhekana nokuhlukumezeka okwedlule. “Angilungile… Ngiyazi ukuthi akumina ngedwa ongalungile,” esho. Ngaphandle kokuchaza kabanzi, uthe ubebhekene nezinto ezimkhathazayo. unyaka uza nokubhekana nezinkinga zomndeni.“Bengibhekene nezinto eziningi ezithinta imizwa kulo nyaka odlule futhi ngaqala ngokushesha ukukholwa ukuthi kukhona uNkulunkulu akwenzayo. Uletha izimo zamanje ukuze abhekane nezinto ezingizwise ubuhlungu kusukela esikhathini esidlule.’ Uthe usheshe wakuqonda ukuthi akuhlangene nokwamanje kodwa okwedlule nalokho akushaye isibhakela.

“Izolo ebusuku ngiphatheke kabi ngomkami kwathi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ngafika ngakhuluma naye wangikhumbuza ukuthi ukusabela kwami kuye kubhebhezelwa izindaba zokulahlwa kwami. Inxeba elikhulu engilahliwe ngubaba. Angimthukuthelele ubaba wami.” ukuthi wahamba.’ Ugcizelele ukuthi akafuni ukunakwa kodwa ufuna nabanye ababhekene necala elifanayo balandise.“UNkulunkulu usihambisa esikhathini soguquko. Ungayeki uma sebefinyelele iphuzu lokuphuka. UNkulunkulu ufuna siphilise. Akafuni siqhubeke.’ Uthi ziningi izinto ezimenze wafuna ukuyeka umsebenzi wakhe, umshado nokuba ngubaba nokwamenza wafuna ukufa. “Ngiyibonile le mizwa ngaphakathi kimina. Angizange ngiphele amandla. Ngisalingisa, ngisashadile, ngisengubaba, futhi ngisaphila. Weluleka abantu ukuthi baziphathe kahle kulesi sikhathi samaholide njengoba izinga lokuzibulala livame ukukhuphuka.” Isikhathi samaholidi sivamise ukusikhipha amanxeba amakhulu kanye nobuhlungu obukhulu.’